Personalized Leadership and Discovery Coach

EARLIER IN THE YEAR, I ATTENDED A LEADERSHIP SEMINAR…

and a powerful takeaway was the realization that we are all storytellers.

And by storytellers, I mean we generate limiting beliefs with the stories we tell ourselves.

Here’s what I learned. At specific points in our early years – as a young child, adolescent or twenty-something, when we experience an emotionally charged or traumatic event, we process the impact of that event by creating a story (setting a limiting belief) about ourselves. That story might sound something like this…

“I am not good enough.”
“It’s not my fault.”
“I don’t need anyone.”

Here is the limiting part – that story stays with us, acting as an unconscious filter through which new experiences must pass. And the filter stays firmly in place until we recognize the belief for what it is.

What opportunities are you likely to let pass by if they first must pass through the filter of
“I am not good enough?” What risks would never be taken if your story was “It’s not my fault?” Or, what is the likelihood of seeking input, support or guidance from others if your filter is “I don’t need anyone?”

This is what can happen when a (limiting) belief is the backdrop against which you lead your life.

Back to that leadership seminar. I witnessed a powerful transformation when a courageous participant shared the events that shaped his “story”. The facilitator immediately recognized an opportunity to coach him through it, and with his permission, skillfully guided him through a re-telling of the event that triggered the story. It happened when he was a young child and it was traumatic. She created a safe space for him to experience his memories and leveraging her coaching expertise, she helped him see a different perspective. A perspective that as an adult, he could connect to newly and objectively. For the first time in his thirty-something years, he was able to recognize the story he had been telling himself.

I am not exaggerating when I say it was life changing for him.

And for me too, as a witness to the power of storytelling. Without a doubt, the man who walked into that leadership seminar was not the same man who left at the end of the day. He was lighter, empowered and confident, and he couldn’t wait to get home and share what he discovered with his wife. Oh, to be a fly on that wall.

As you can imagine, as soon as I could, I created space to investigate my own stories. I knew what I was looking for - an emotional or traumatic event during specific time periods of my life – as a young child, adolescent or twenty-something. The event surfaced immediately. With some reflection and objectivity, I was able to revisit my story and understand the narrative, seeing it for the first time for exactly what it was, a limiting belief.

I’ve shared this experience with a couple of friends who, like me, were immediately able to identify the experience that shaped their story, and they graciously allowed me to coach them through the discovery of their limiting belief. And, like me, they have begun the process of letting that belief go.