Take a moment to remember a time you said YES for yourself and really meant it.
Was it YES to moving forward in your career or relationship? To expanding your world view through travel? Or YES to bringing something new into your life?
When you said YES, you had great intention. You meant it. And whether you were aware of it or not to make your YES happen, to truly commit to it, you also had to put NO into action. Here is an example of what I mean.
Say you want to have a conversation with your boss about your aspirations - the path you’d like your career to follow, so you’ll have her consideration when the right opportunity arises. That’s the big YES.
Supporting YESs might include your willingness to be vulnerable to share your dreams and desires, to speaking confidently about your abilities and accomplishments and being open to any feedback she has to offer. You’ve neatly lined up all your YESs, but how do you make sure you are committed enough to see it through to action?
Often what stands in the way of committing to our YES is the NO stories we tell ourselves. Limiting beliefs and negative self talk that sound a lot like rational explanations - except those rational explanations have a way of keeping us in status quo. That’s where NO plays an important role in commitment. I’ll use the example above to illustrate what I mean. In order to commit to your YES, here are some of the NOs you’ll want to consider:
· Saying NO to telling yourself your boss is too busy to make time for you
· Saying NO to letting your self doubt overpower your truth
· Saying NO to feeling discouraged if your boss doesn’t see the same things for you that you see for yourself.
Being as clear with your NOs as you are with your YESs locks in your commitment to action.
One of the most powerful experiences I had during my coach training was when one by one, each of us declared our commitment to ourselves. The YESs and the NOs that would bring those YESs into action. The energy in the room expanded as each person took their turn, declaring out loud the commitment to action they were making for themselves. Their YESs and NOs. I can honestly say the one thing I knew for sure was that anything was possible that day.
SAYING YES SETS THE INTENTION. SAYING NO SECURES THE COMMITMENT.
You’ve got so many great YESs ahead of you! Commit to being clear about the NOs you’re going to need to move beyond status quo and make your YES happen.
In the amazing words of Dr. Seuss…
“AND WHEN THINGS START TO HAPPEN,
DON’T WORRY. DON’T STEW.
JUST GO RIGHT ALONG.
YOU’LL START HAPPENING TOO.”
