Values. They represent something different to each of us. In a business context I think about my company’s values – espoused, practiced and shared. I also think about my value to the organization. In consulting we often talk about adding value so our clients see us as their trusted advisor.
In a personal context, I think about shared values as a foundation for my relationships.
What are values and why are they important?
The Oxford Dictionary’s definition works well for me:
“Principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgement of what’s important in life”
It wasn’t until I began my coaching journey that I fully understood how powerful values are. They impact choices, opinions, relationships, and even occupations. They shape the way you live your life. Values act as an early warning system. They guide decision making and they define how you show up.
They act as your early warning system.
I learned that many of my everyday reactions to people, situations and events was the result of one of two occurrences: my values were aligned with what was happening at that moment or they weren’t. When my values are being honoured a number of great things happen - I feel validated and energized - I feel light in my body and I feel powerful. On the flip side, when my values are being dismissed or ignored, I am likely to react with a flash of white hot anger, feel heavy with disappointment or small with defeat.
Here’s an example of a value being honoured. For the first time in a number of years, I recently attended my professional association’s annual conference. Once I had settled in to the opening keynote I began to notice how fully present I was to the speaker’s message. There was a lightness in my body, I was taking in everything she said and I was excited. I was learning. Over the two days I attended various events and connected with colleagues, I noticed a growing sense of belonging. I was part of a community. When I went back to work I felt energized with a renewed sense of purpose for my work.
It would be nice to think that we could live every day in a state of values bliss. What we might miss out on though is that flash of white hot anger or the weight of disappointment – the early warning system that let us know our planets just went out of alignment.
They guide your decision making.
Can I live with this, or without this? Am I willing to compromise? Will this (fill in the blank) support me in living my best self? Whether you’ve explored your values or not, you’ve heard that voice in your head, or felt those sensations in your body that are trying to tell you something. LISTEN CAREFULLY, because there is important information you need to pay attention to.
They define how you show up.
Values aren’t just words. They define our behaviors and how we show up. A great question to ask yourself is “how do I want (or need) to show up in this situation?” Every minute of every day you can choose who (and how) you want to BE. That’s where your values come into play. What’s important to you? What do you want your behavior to say about you? What do you want to be proud of?
There are a number of different ways to bring your values to the surface. Start with your life experiences.
What are the things in your life that are non-negotiable?
What experiences bring you the greatest fulfillment?
What experiences brought you the greatest disappointments?
Getting in touch with your values – beyond the words, is an important ingredient in being able to live the life that you dream of, the life you deserve and the life that’s waiting for you.
What’s possible for you when you fully connect with your values?
