It’s the beginning of January and like many of you I’m emerging from the holiday fog and I’ve started to think about setting a New Year’s resolution. What is it about the beginning of the year that has us engaging in this activity? Curiosity had me Google where and when this practice of resolution-setting began. What I learned was the Babylonians, the first known New Year’s celebrants got the ball rolling by making promises to their gods to repay any debts and return borrowed objects. They believed in doing so, their gods would bestow favour upon them.
Today, almost half of us in North America make a resolution. Less than 10% of us realize our goal.
Most resolutions set by women are related to health – weight loss, improving diet and exercise and quitting smoking. For men, it’s finding a new job and consuming less alcohol.
As a big goal setter, I usually find myself on board with setting a resolution. My approach has generally been to think of things I’m not so good at, or would like to become more consistent with and then I declare, sometimes out loud, how I’m going to be better, do better and feel better. This year I took a bit of a detour. Instead of starting with judgement, I started with reflection, and two simple questions to get me digging a little deeper.
What do I want more of in 2019? What would I like less of?
After a bit of a slow start, I noticed my reflection was taking me places rich with thoughts and experiences - gratitude, disappointment, pride, regret and accomplishment. And I noticed my thoughts were equally weighted in who I want to be, and what I want to do.
So, here’s where I landed. My BE: mindful. Specifically, creating space for different ideas and perspectives. Not just going with the first thought or idea that surfaces (whether it is mine or someone else’s) really exploring what else is possible. My DO: yoga. My physical health is very important to me and I’ve noticed flexibility is an area I would like to improve. I’ve dabbled, now it is time to bring intention to my yoga mat. This one I have declared out loud, so no turning back now.
Next step – if I’m saying YES to being mindful and rolling out my yoga mat, what do I need to say NO to in order to see these resolutions through? I know from experience, adding something into a busy life means I need to take something away. My blog “Getting to YES with NO” explores this subject in more detail.
My reflective questions were pretty simple - here are some others to consider.
· What part of me do I want to share more (or less) of?
· What accomplishment(s) do I want to celebrate this year?
· What (regret, relationship, belief…) am I ready to let go of?
· What am I ready to create space for?
No surprise, the question you choose to start with is not as important as just getting to it.
“Without reflection we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful. ”
Reflect then resolve your best year yet. Happy New Year!